Love is in the Air – Planning Past the Wedding

Have you noticed the magazine covers this month? Not that one – Sports Illustrated notwithstanding, you are probably looking at several wedding covers on the magazines in your grocery checkout line. If you have young adults in your family, chances are you’ve experienced the wedding vortex on some level or may soon. If you are a young adult you may be planning for this or have friends who have been through it. Noting that this one day party leads (hopefully) to a lifelong marriage, we want to take a look at what young couples might discuss before the big day and how they may prepare for a mutually satisfying financial life together. If a wedding takes up to 16 months or so to plan, it seems reasonable that some of that time could be spent learning more about the financial habits of the person you intend to spend the rest of your days with. It is interesting to me that almost every media mention of a wedding includes the strong recommendation to hire a wedding planner but you rarely see it mentioned that the couple should hire a financial planner first. Let’s take a look at just some of the things that might be revealed by working with a financial planner as you set up your lives together.

I am working with a young woman now who was already a client and now that she is getting married, she is asking great questions about her future financial life with her fiancé. My client inherited some money at a relatively young age and she is wise to seek counsel regarding how her financial life as part of a couple will be different. Our last quarterly meeting included the announcement of her engagement to me, her planner, and her fiancé will be in our next quarterly meeting as they develop their plans.

Everyone has a financial personality. There are varying degrees of course, but bottom line; people are either a spender or saver to some degree. And everyone has a money history. That money history often informs how someone deals with money today. If we declare neutral ground (the planner’s office), and lay some ground rules; there are no wrong answers, only discovery, our purpose is to learn about each other and share each person’s history and needs and wants. 

Money History:

1)      When you were growing up, did you believe your family had enough money, not enough money, lots of money, or it never came up?

2)      When you grew older, was what you believed about the money in your family true?

3)      Was money discussed in your family? How, how often, in what context?

4)      Were you given any instruction around money as a child? (Save for a rainy day, tithe, work odd jobs for pay or ‘don’t worry your pretty little head about that, Daddy’s got it covered’)

5)      Did you receive allowance as a child?

6)      Did you perceive your parents were similar in their money habits or different?

7)      Did you identify with one parent over another in the way they handled their money?

Financial Personality:

1)      Do you think of yourself as a spender or a saver?

2)      Do you have a checking account and if so, do you balance it monthly?

3)      Do you pay for most things with cash, credit card, debit card, or a check?

4)      How many credit cards do you have and how many do you use?

5)      Do you carry a balance on any of them?

6)      Have you ever maxed out your credit cards or made late payments?

7)      Do you know your credit score? If so, what is it?

8)      Do you research major purchases?

9)      Do you track your expenses?

10)   Do you make many impulse purchases?

11)   What are the terms (rate, term, payment, total amount owed) of the debts you have?

12)   Do you understand each line of your paystub?

13)   Do you have health, disability, and life insurance?

14)   Do you have any outstanding debt collection issues (taxes, liens, past due accounts)?

15)   Do you own any investments?

16)   Are you working with a financial planner?

Going forward, together?

1)      Would you be willing to work with a financial planner to let them to establish a relationship, collect all our data, work with us to develop our mutual goals, develop recommendations for us, implement those recommendations on our behalf, and then help us monitor our plan going forward?

2)      Is either of us planning additional schooling?

3)      What is our approximate timeline for starting a family if that is in our plans?

4)      What are our mutual goals (owning a home, starting a business, travel)?

5)      What constraints are we facing (one of us may have to re-locate; one of us may have to assist an elderly relative)?

6)      Is either of us expected to inherit money? This can be a source of sharing resources but the couple will want to explore legal options for keeping the inheritance separate from shared monies.

Exploring these conversations with the person you care most about can enrich your futures in ways that will allow each of you to enjoy your mutual and shared resources throughout your lives together.  When you think about hiring the wedding planner, make sure you make an appointment with your financial planner first. Then you can get out there in the world together and go in the direction of your dreams.